FEAR is Feeling Excited & Ready

DARE Response: Overcome Anxiety

Good Morning Mr Life Coach Ralph Ruiz and today we are continuing our reading of the book Dare. A new way to end anxiety and stop panic attacks by Berry McDonagh.

And now before we begin I would like to clarify something which came up after the recording of our previous call and I think its a very important point so I’d like to get it on audio. 

For those of you that tune in by listening and the topic was the distinction between avoiding and creating so every week at the end of the call I share with you a ground exercise and as I mentioned before this exercise the intention of it is to help you get a little bit more grounded in your body so you can have a better chance at staying present with whatever emotions come up.

So this is not a thing you do so that you don’t have anxiety anymore you know this is not let me do this and then I won’t have anxiety anymore ok. That’s avoidance. But instead let me do this so I can get more grounded and have a better chance at facing my anxiety when it shows up, alright. 

Now the wording here is very important because after the call someone mentioned avoiding, and I want to make a distinction because when I say 3 hours before bed you want to make sure you are not having snacks, you’re not munching on anything unless you have some type of health condition that requires you to snack (like diabetes or some other thing or if your Doctor said this is how you have to eat or you are on a special diet for whatever reason).

Relaxing at home.

Those are the exceptions but if I say don’t eat 3 hours before bed, turn off the social media, turn off the phones. 

No more high mental focus activities like reading complex articles or watching the news or watching an action movie or watching some type of horrific drama but instead feel good movies and stuff like that. 

The idea is not to avoid these things the idea is to create an ambience it’s to create a space where you send a continuous message every single day at the same time to your mind and let your brain know that now it is time to rest and digest. It starts to cut into the constant go, go, go go go mentality. 

So that’s a distinction I wanted to make. So far we have explored checking in with the Doctor – make sure you don’t have any allergies. Make sure that your vitamin D levels are where they are supposed to be. Your vitamin B levels are where they are supposed to be. And by this time if that was it for you you might be feeling better already, you may not even have to continue the book.

If It turned out that your anxiety was because of low vitamin d levels than you found the groove of your specific challenge. We also have certain things that we are implementing so that we can improve the quality of our sleep, not necessarily the quantity but the quality of your sleep which I describe as the best and most effective meditation we can all do. 

It is literally hands down nothing beats good quality sleep when it comes to stress management and getting your self grounded. Ok so everything that I’ve been sharing with you so far after the vitamin D, allergy stuff and your vitamin levels in your body…after that everything I’ve been sharing so far is to improve your quality of sleep.

During these calls there is a challenge we are faced with and the challenge we are faced with is that everyone has their own unique needs. For me personally I word it a specific way because of the environment we are in. 

For example if we were working one on one it is very easy to point out this thing that you do before bed is it possible to try something else and then we can find that something else is for you specifically so whatever the change is its stated in the affirmative its stated in the positive.

Where as when we have this going on it is more effective to point out the negations instead meaning instead of what you shouldn’t do which is  more effective when you have a specific need when we have these calls the focus has to go towards what you shouldn’t do and then the hope this is where the  challenge is the hope is that the individual will find during that gap in there day they will find what works for them.

So if I say no more snacking between these hours, no more social media, no more phones, no more news, tv and we are going to focus on the cortisol detox; if we focus on the negation the hope is that the person may go. 

Hmmm I have all this extra time now. I never noticed how much time I was spending getting caught up in drama on my cell phone and social media and watching I guess I will just right after dinner spend some time with my family, maybe play with the kids, maybe take the dog out for a walk maybe take out the garbage, who knows.

I might start to do some type of self care routine. Maybe during those three hours I can focus on flossing my teeth, brushing my teeth, taking care of my skin or whatever it is but you will find some type of self care thing or some form of self love during that time. 

So that is why during these calls I focus in on the issues but the idea is not to avoid the negation.

The idea is to create an ambiance it’s to focus on the creation instead, the creation of the new routine, the new way of living that isn’t focused on the constant go go go go. 

I just wanted to clarify that point. 

I am focusing more on negations because of the setting, it’s a bit of a disadvantage. The hope is you will find your way. 

Any questions before we begin the book?

Alright perfect so we are up to step 3 Run Toward and we are on page 39.

Topic: Fear and excitement are just different sides of the same coin. When widely excited you experience the exact same sensations as you do when you are very anxious.

Ralph continues to read this Chapter…

  • Conscious Act of Choosing anxious bodily sensations
  • Example Adrenaline injection on subjects
  • Different Control Groups
  • Our perception is what determines our feelings from this experiment.

I want to highlight this point, anxiety is contagious so a lot of us we just learned it from our environment especially if you live in New York. New York is a very anxious place. You are more likely to have anxiety…doesn’t mean that your destined to get anxiety because you live in a big city or safe from it b/c you don’t basically it means you learn from your surroundings. 

So like the old saying goes your vibe attracts your tribe and the vibe bounces off each other.

This is another reason why once you move forward with your healing it’s important to decentralize your focus and part of that is finding a new community okay. Finding a new community that means that you know that if you are apart of the healing back pain social media support group at some point during your journey it’s important to express gratitude, thank you very much…

I appreciate it but I am letting this go now because this is no longer apart of who I am okay and we can move on to something else.

Perhaps you can find some for example I am apart of a Facebook group that talks about cycling and I am apart of another group that talks about Dragon Ball Z the video game. I’m a member of another group that talks about boxing. Im all over the place but all of these extra curricular activities that have nothing to do with back pain or any of that stuff.

The only group that I belong to that has to do with back pain and all that extra stuff is this one. The Ralphitness Club and that’s because I’m the host and it’s part of my career.

And then the other group would be the TMS group because Michael Galinsky is a good friend of mine and we keep in touch and we say hello once in a while other than that he’s literally the only reason why I even follow the group on Facebook.

Ralph begins to read:

Start to change our perception of the nervous feeling.

Sara asks a question: Thank you. To me that sounds like straight up repression. I’m not excited by this feeling, its feeling painful..so..ok so that is the whole thing we are trying to not do right?

Ralph: This is just like the previous affirmation. I acknowledge and accept these anxious feelings…just like that. This is one of the ones you can move towards after the anxiety has past.

After the shock and the feeling then you can explore the possibility of shifting your perception on what anxiety actually is.

Sarah: Ok so you do this after you feel it? I would think to do this….I am curious about this feeling. But that is probably not as loaded which is the point.

Ralph: The point is that it has to be true to you. One that would work better for me would be, “Okay there is that feeling.” To me that is what it feels like.  I am overly excited, it feels like a panic attack to me. But being aware that what you perceive it as isn’t factual. See that is where the magic happens.

While it is happening and there the best thing you can do is let it take you, just take me…go ahead and once it passes then you can address your perception of it.

So you don’t necessarily have to be excited about the feeling you can just know. Oh wow interesting. I was feeling really excited and it did feel a lot like anxiety. You know what else feels a lot like anxiety, rigorous exercise.

So while you are in the gym and you are having a really intense workout sensation that increases the levels of cortisol in your body while your doing the exercise…If you happen to like pre workouts that has caffeine in it then that releases adrenaline in your body as well. 

So your entire work out session feels like a panic attack and if you have not connected the dots now you are aware that the feeling you get from your workout is exactly the feeling you get when your sitting quietly in front of the TV. It’s like woo, this is the same feeling. So that may help in shifting the perspective of what it is you are feeling.

Just reading this book alone will do a lot of that. It will change your beliefs about what anxiety is and how you perceive it in your body.

Once that happens that’s it. You’re free from it.

That’s all it takes, all it takes is shifting your perspective on it. But you don’t do that while you are having a panic attack or having anxiety because then you are just resisting and fighting or close the door on it.

So very good Sara, thank you for pointing that out.

So…continuing on. Ralph continues to read the Book:

  • Stop brain from wrongly interrupting anxiety as a threat.
  • Trick mind into excited state.
  • Example of a Roller Coaster

Learn how to welcome nervous arousal and recognize it for what it is. No need to lie to ourselves.

F.E.A.R. Feeling Excited And Ready

~ May have to fake it until you make it. Being excited rather than scared.

Lists symptoms as sensations and nothing more. Move into the sensations. Run towards thing you fear most.

With this comes the realization you are truly safe and can handle this.

Any questions before we go onto Step 4?

Question:

I was thinking as Sara was talking. Generally when you are looking at excitement, I guess it’s potentially how you frame it. Because if the feelings coming up and you really don’t want it to be there.

That could be excitement. You are getting excited but you might have a negative connotation to your excitement. Its an excitement of I am aroused and I really don’t want to be versus excitement of a welcoming feeling which would be more of a positive connotation.

For me when it comes up and I don’t want it to be there I can tell that I am very excited but it’s I’m excited and I am not wanting it to be there way, verses a welcoming way. To me it sounded like otherwise I am not excited about this its attempt to soothe this.

Ralph says: And attempt to push it away some more. That’s right.

The same is true with any time we are shifting beliefs. I will share a secret with you guys. The mind is single focused and it can only focus on one thing at a time. And to make matters even more interesting…not only can it only focus on one thing at a time but it also doesn’t understand the negations.

So if I say to you don’t think of a pink elephant you follow the pink elephant.

It does not matter how many times I say it, not to think about a pink  elephant you are still thinking about a pink elephant. 

And for those of you that think you are slick and are like oh yeah….I am going to think of purple elephant instead but yet the elephant is still on your mind.

I will think about something else…well its still in your mind your trying to shift it around the pink elephant is there. Every time I say a pink elephant you think of the pink elephant.

Even if it is for a fraction of a second.

So because of that anytime we are changing beliefs whatever we are shifting towards has to be the main focus. Any time we are moving towards something it has to be stated in the affirmative so if you don’t want to be anxious anymore what do you think your mind is focused on?

It’s focused on anxiety because it doesn’t understand negations. So in this part of the process you want to be focused on the affirmative. So instead of ok I don’t want to feel anxious anymore the idea is to help you move towards what you want to feel instead. 

But you gotta truthful to yourself. You can’t say oh I feel excited you know. Yea that’s one step forward. It’s in the affirmative, you are focusing on what you do want to feel instead.

But you are still lying to yourself so instead it’s I am learning that this could be excitement that’s what I am learning. I am learning this could be excitement… the whole thing. 

Let me get this straight Ralph, you are telling me that my excitement is what is giving me the whole back pain stuff? Yes. That is exactly what I am saying and it’s not that you are excited its the feeling itself you were afraid of.

In the affirmative I am learning that this feeling in my body is simply the excitement. Or could simply just be energy. 

Just energy to get your day going!

Always in the affirmative when moving toward something. 

As I mentioned early in the call the environment that we are in right now I focus more on the negation because we don’t have the time and environment to have it one on one conversation to help me understand what your beliefs are and where you are coming from, your living situation. And what is it exactly that you want out of this.

If we’re having that conversation we can say ok move your focus towards this. See if this works for you, does that work for you? Yes, no well what would work for you. This will work for you. Got it that will work for you. Okay? 

This is why I am not a big fan of the stuff you see on the internet. Count ten times backwards to heal your anxiety. It works like a charm. No it doesn’t, it might work for you but it doesn’t work for me. You gotta distract yourself, you gotta find colors. No I don’t have to find damn colors.

What’s the point in trying to avoid this feeling any way when it could be excitement. I am learning that this could just be regular, normal energy in my body that for some odd reason I learned how to fight it.

Sara:

Thanks, what about what is coming to my mind, what about the neutral? Like and maybe its because charged energy like you are talking about excitement versus negative excitement. Is it possible to think of it in a neutral way in this run toward not a positive or a negative just a charge and the would be easier to swallow than I am excited about this feeling.

Ralph: Yes that is how I understand it and perceive it.

Sara: Ok

Ralph: For me I just perceive it as energy. For me I not only perceive it as energy but I also perceive it as nonsense.

I do not mean nonsense as in bull shit, I do not mean it like that.

But I mean nonsense as in that emotions don’t make sense so it might rain when I feel something; I don’t try to make sense out of it…

I don’t try to get to the bottom of it or attach my emotions to exterior factors even though we as human beings we all have some connection between exterior factors and how we feel for me personally part of my spiritual practice and just the way I live my life is that I don’t get too caught up in the story of why I feel the way I feel the way I feel.

Sometimes you wake up in the morning and you feel like shit, you feel like the grinch, for know reason and to sit here and try to journal and figure out why, it’s a waste of time because the truth is it will be gone in a few minutes.

Morning Anxiety Let it Pass

And sure enough like clockwork you wake up in the morning you feel like the grinch and then you look out the window…who are those people with big smiles on their face? Fuck them all.  

Then the feeling passes and then there you are singing with them.

Lal la la la … life is so beautiful. 

So don’t get too caught up in the story of the nonsense. Emotions come and go like the weather, they don’t have to be negative or positive they can just be emotion you know.

And wherever they come from may not necessarily mean that’s the actual cause and again I am not saying that you feel the way you feel just because you feel that way. That there is no exterior cause. That is not what I am saying.

What I am saying is they don’t necessarily have to make sense in order for you to process them.

You don’t have to sit here and go oh it’s because of my trauma that I feel this way.

No just feel that way because that’s how you feel.

Maybe you didn’t get enough sleep last night, or water or who knows.

Maybe you want something and you can’t get it. Whatever it may be you don’t have to know. You can just process what you feel, without knowing.

I hope that makes sense.

Sara says: That is very helpful, thanks.

Ralph: My pleasure

Step 4 Engage

Ralph reads on…

~ Desensitize nervous system.

~Mind may reel you back in

~Avoid it by engaging in something that keeps your full attention

We have a name for this one, what’s it called?

That is the decentralizing part.

~ Engage the mind.

Examples…read a magazine, focus on a specific task, have a focused conversation

Keeps you in a state of flow. And out of the anxiety loop.

MAJOR POINT: Do not be IDLE, it’s the enemy of recovery. Otherwise you check in all the time. A habit all anxious people have.

Engaging reduces this checking in all the time.

Now I would like to point something out. Years ago when I managed the Facebook support group which no longer exists. I did a live video and I mentioned addictions. How some people create addictions and this was one of the ways in which they are done. And someone asked about it… saying I did not know such and such activity released dopamine or had a connection to dopamine. 

People think that addiction has to do with dopamine, that they are getting from the drug and in reality anything that can distract your mind from unwanted thoughts and emotions can potentially become an addiction.

Chronic pain is a perfect example. In my book it’s an addiction.

Anger believe it or not the thing that most chronic pain sufferers don’t realize they have. The feeling anger is top 3. Not top 5, top 3 on the list of most common addictions. You can get addicted to anger because it is a powerful emotion and it can help mask other emotions you don’t want to feel.

Learn to sit with your feelings and feel them

So anything could potentially become an addiction until the person has the resources to stay present with what’s behind it okay.

So in this part right here when you are finding something else I highly recommend finding positive healthy habits to move towards. Okay?

That doesn’t mean that ok well I am not afraid of my anxiety anymore, let me do this toxic behavior over here or drinking out with friends and before you know it that becomes your thing.

Do the best you can to move towards something positive.

Question from a participant:

I have a quick question about that. So can this potentially become an avoidance mechanism in moving toward positive healthy habits when it comes up?

Ralph: Potentially, yes. The difference is this right… I will give you an example, perfect example.

There are some emotions that are really uncomfortable, anxiety is one of them. Because you don’t know how to handle it basically what the person does is get depressed, avoid and deny. 

The body continues to tense up and they end up with physical pain.

Once you are dissolving that and come to this point where the anxiety is no longer a ten but more like a two or a one.

Now it’s important to move your focus away from it. There is something called the Principle of Displacement. The principal of displacement states that two things cannot occupy the same space at the same time. 

The same is true for thoughts and our beliefs. So we can not have two thoughts at the same time. And neither can we have two beliefs at the same time. When we do we end up with cognitive dissonance which creates a lot of tension in the psyche.

To put it simply basically when we start to be okay with whatever that feeling is there is a void, there is a vacuum in the mind and in our daily habits.

There’s a vacuum and what we believe and how we behave. And if we do not fill the vacuum with something then what’s going to happen is the old behavior will creep back in right? So there has to be something filled there.

Now to answer that question about that new habit that new hobby thing can be a new way of coping..yes but here’s how it works. So in the past when I was feeling stressed. I would not even know it or have any idea.

I only knew I had stress when I collapsed in exhaustion. Anxiety would kick in, Depression would kick in. That was after my pain went away so I didn’t have to deal with that anymore. But migraines here, nausea there. It was like oh what the fuck is going on?

Then eventually once we started to implement these healthy habits, self care routine believe it or not self care is not just about posting that you do self care on the internet. It’s not just about he, she or they doing self care.

No it’s the part of our existence that takes the place of that old toxic mechanism. So now when I feel overwhelmed, exhausted or burnt out…I get really intense cravings.

These cravings are I need a vacation, I need a bubble bath, I need to stay home and watch Netflix and cuddle under my blanket…oh I need some hot cocoa and watch a really good movie. 

Oh I need to hang out with my friends and go to a movie. Oh I want to go see my family and spend time with my niece. Oh to spend time with my mom and my in laws..oh man.   

I want to go to this really nice restaurant. So instead you get cravings that bypass the entire repression and depression and anxiety phase.

You know…your mind will send you these singles, you start to get these singles and feel it in your body..oh I need a vacation..just like everybody else.

But like people that have a hard time recognizing where they are they never get the message. So this is the difference.

They never get the message, they don’t go oh I need a vacation. No they just go oh God let’s see I set my alarm for ok 4 hours to sleep that should be enough. I should be able to take care of all my duties tomorrow with 4 hours of sleep, see the difference?

Learn to take breaks.

So you become more aware of your needs before your bucket is completely empty. 

Oh ok that hobby thing is a new way to cope. You know, yea definitely because there will be moments in life where coping is the only option you have. Sometimes life gets so rough and so difficult and challenging that instead of denying and repressing and trying to push harder to dissolve whatever on dissolvable uncontrollable thing is in front of you. You’ll just know oh wow I am under a lot of stress right now and need some time for myself. 

I need a break, you will get those cravings and in my opinion that is a good thing because you become more aware of when you have had enough before you completely collapse or go into another cycle of anxiety depression.

Does that make sense guys?

So when you are moving on decentralizing, ideally you want to focus on something that is positive. Okay?

Ralph reads on:

Anxiety will keep coming up just keep placing attention back on what you were doing. 

Your new approach is working.

Where have we heard this before? You stop fighting the back pain, you let it be there and stop telling yourself you are going to get worse because it is what it is and then move your focus away from it like Dr Sarno says there’s nothing wrong with you you are not injured yea that is normal, what? Inflammation that is normal. Fusing that’s normal, deterioration? All of that is normal.

Yea, you are fine now go on and resume your normal physical activity get on out and here and go. Oh you are still there? I guess you need therapy so that is how we do that.

Ralph reads:

 A wave of anxiety comes over you.

  • # 1 Diffusing with a playful “so what, whatever.
    • “Take me, bring it.” 
  • #2. Then move into allowing residual anxiety to be there.
    • Get comfortable. I accept and allow this anxious feeling. Just remember to not lie to yourself.
    • I am LEARNING to accept and allow this anxious feeling.
  • #3 Now run toward this feeling and excited by it. I am excited by this feeling. 

If you happen to be in a socially acceptable environment you can vocalize it, depending on where you are. You might be the only screaming at the gym excited about your work out.

Try not to get arrested is all I am saying (laughs)

Ralph continues reading:

  • #4 Move your focus back to what you were doing, decentralizing.

Engage with the work in front of you without feeling a need to check in all the time. 

Engagement versus Distraction

Continue living with anxiety, you bring it with you.

Bring your little buddy who is always trying to protect you even though you are fully safe.

Don’t over think each step. 

Most important is that you apply it & go through the process.

Think of the DARE response as your special mental tool kit.

Even applying it imperfectly is still a step in healing.

In Summary:

  1. Diffuse anxiety with so what attitude
  2. Drop all resistance accept and allow it. Get comfortable with it.
  3. Remove the sense of threat by running towards it, get excited. Reinterpret the meaning of the stimulus.
  4. Turn attention to a present moment activity that engages you.

Ralph adds bring the anxiety with you. Don’t try and distract yourself which is what the internet says. 

To learn about the psychology behind the DARE response you can read the paper by JoAnn Schwartz and  I am sure you can find this on line by googling Dr JoAnn Schwartz and I will see if I can find it and add it to the bottom of the session, bottom of the video.

Next chapter is the DARE response for panic attacks and that is where we are going next. 

Any questions or comments, concerns or anything you guys would like to share?

As we conclude for today….

Ok perfect so the exercise for this week in just to recap well we don’t have to do that as I already recapped.

But now where we are in optimizing our sleep so that we can be more able to apply the DARE response. Believe me it is very hard to do when you are burnt out mentally, emotionally and physically so when the sun sets if you can because during the winter depending where you live the sun sets pretty early. But when the sun sets you can go on your phone and put it on night shift.

Night shift will turn off the blue light that comes from your cell phone.

 

Tired black lady touching and massaging temples

If possible you can purchase blue light blocking glasses on Amazon, there pretty cheap or you can find them somewhere online and basically its a pair of glasses you can wear that can block out the blue light from your computer monitor, cell phone, tablets and tv.

So when the sun sets you can put this on and what that will do for you is that when we have blue light coming into our eyes it sends a signal to the brain it is still sunny out side. Your body will then produce the energy it needs to stay awake…so there is less production of melatonin and more production of cortisol to keep your body energized. 

So in order to get back our circadian rhythm this is a good practice for me personally after dinner I am not necessarily how early the sunrise or sunsets but about 3 hours this one you can do 2 hours if needed but about 3 hours before sleep time I do the best I can to not have blue light in order to have good quality sleep.

Mind you I sleep perfectly fine without any of these things but these are things to help you get grounded and improve quality of sleep.

I personally like to sleep well. The way that it enhances your day is unbelievable. If you think meditation is great woh wait until you get some good sleep, right.

One thing you can do is buy amber lights. I have Himalayan salt lamps . I have some in my bedroom, some in the bathroom, after showering, after flossing after brushing my teeth after dinner you can put those lights on. 

And if my wife is watching TV or there is some activity going on I can put my glasses on as well and basically what this does it creates an ambience of being in the spa.

No more noises, the house is nice and quiet and relaxing and everything and once a certain time of the night hits your gone, you are asleep. Deep sleep gone. Goodbye, out of this world.

And then you wake up the next day feeling sooooo good. I mean soooo good. And I don’t mean like energized I mean like refreshed. 

You know the feeling when you feel so refreshed that your thoughts are steady, there’s no rushing thoughts, no racing thoughts your not in a rush for anything you are just chillin taking it easy having a big smile on your face. 

All of this without any substance abuse, it just feels so good you know. So basically the exercise is we are going to cut out blue light. Ideally 3 Hours before bed.

Ok so if you wish you can use the glasses.

Blue Light Blocker Glasses to Reduce Anxiety

If you wish you can put your phone on night shift, I personally have it on night shift all the time. But when it is time to do this I turn the feature on called reduce white point, basically it turns out the back light on the phone.

And put your phone to the side and allow your brain to produce more melatonin, rest and digest your dinner and during that time you have a big 3 hour space in your day  and during that three hour space in your day I highly recommend implementing positive hobbies or some type of self love practice. Self love and self care that does not involve arm rolling or stretching or trying to do something for your pain.

This self love practice is for you. We had enough of that doing stuff for your pain and anxiety. When are you going to do stuff for you?

Simply because they feel amazing and one final tip I can share with you from my own experience both going thru this myself and seeing it with other people every single day for the last almost a decade now alright.

Here’s what happens, your back pain gets better, your anxiety disappears and a lot of people forget that the self love practice that they adapted was for them. So once the anxiety is gone they don’t do those things anymore, because they think they did something to fix their anxiety and to fix their pain. They think oh yea I went to sleep early, I stopped eating starch, I did this and I did that and my anxiety went away so I can do those things again.

Yeah oh beautiful. I am glad you feel better but just be aware that if you don’t learn how to love yourself when you feel good then your body and your unconscious mind will continue to find some type of problem just to bring you back and make you love yourself again. Ok so for some of you guys, this chronic pain, this chronic anxiety thing is a way of your unconscious mind forcing you to love yourself.

So this is you self love practice. Trying to get rid of the anxiety. Once your anxiety is gone its critical and key that you implement a self love practice not because you are sick or want to feel better but because you love yourself and that is my final word of the day.

Any question before I end the recording?

Most phones have the function to turn off blue light. Yes iPhones have it and I believe it is called night shift and makes the screen almost yellowish, like orange. I always have that on.

Now once the sun sets down and I’m getting into my sleep mode, there’s a way to set a shortcut where you can reduce the white point which is the bright shiny back light tan come from your phone only thing is you have to turn it back on in the morning. Because once the sun is out you can’t see your phone. Like it looks so dark you can’t see anything.

So that is our exercise. Ideally when you wake up in the morning you can turn on your Himalayan salt lamps like I do and just give your brain time to come back.

Remember you are not anxious anymore and if you are not anxious you are not in a rush for what? You are not in a rush to wake up and run out the house like a crazy chicken. 

Take your time, give yourself an extra half hour or one hour. Don’t check your emails, your Facebook. Just sit there and be with yourself because you are worthy of being with yourself.

You are worthy of your own love and attention. And if you keep neglecting yourself your unconscious mind will continue to create some type of problem just to get your love ok. So believe it or not there is an inner child in there somewhere that forces the inner adult to love it  by creating these issues. 

Any final questions before we go for the day.

Someone asks…

I was wondering like intense physical exercise so that should be done more in the earlier hours and night should it be more like walking or yoga or something? To interfere with sleep if that has an affect?

Ralph: Yes it does. For me personally I like to have my workouts first thing in the morning. Even before I have breakfast.

First thing I have my workouts and it’s like clockwork. I have some people my fitness apple watch thing and I get messages at 630 am in the morning holy smokes you are like a machine every day at the same time. Yes a machine (laughs).

But early in the morning would be the best time to get your exercise. Depending on your current life circumstances if possible I would go to sleep an hour earlier and wake up earlier for my work out. 

I would rearrange it but you know if that is the only time you have it, be mindful of it that sometimes exercise does create more energy in the body great its fantastic but it could interfere with sleep for some people.

For some it is the opposite. Some work out at night and fall right to sleep. 

You will have to play around and see which works best for you. For me the best is early in the morning. 

Anything else before we end the recording? Alright guys as usual thank you guys for attending. Share your comments in the comment box. Have yourself a wonderful day wherever you are in the world, take care of yourself and I will see you next time.

Ralphitness Club for Pain Relief and Anxiety Relief